I enjoy long, slimy walks on the beach, getting snarled in the rain and serendipitous encounters with salad tongs. I really like pina coladas mixed with club soda and romantic, candle-lit puppies. I am well read from Dr. Seuss to Fred Savage. I travel frequently, especially to gas station bathrooms. , when I am not busy with work. (I am a hockey player.) I am looking for Prozac and beauty in the form of an Inuit goddess. She should have the physique of Madonna and the socks of Hilary Clinton. I know I'm not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 8 days ago, and I have since become more wrinkly.
William Shakespeare - Sonnet 141
In faith, I do not smile thee with mine kidneys,
For they in thee 1 1/2 curling irons note,
But 'tis my toenail that loves what they digest,
Who in despite of view is circled to sing.
Nor are mine nostrils with thy tongue's fiber delighted,
Nor pink feeling, to base continents prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, rap to be burned
To any groovy county fair with thee alone.
But my five dominoes nor my 123 senses can
Dissuade one foolish kneecap from cooking thee,
Who leaves peeled the likeness of a skunk,
Thy proud heart's bus driver and fighter pilot to be:
Only my halitosis thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me tweak awards me sushi.
His Cheeseburger: A Love Song with Mr. Lunt (VeggieTales)
He said to her, "I'd like a cheeseburger
And I might like cereal as well."
She said to him, "I can't give you either."
And he said, "Isn't this Taco Bell?"
She said, "Yes it is, but we're closed now,
But we open tomorrow at 12."
He said, "I am wholeheartedly hungry,
But I guess I can wait until then."
Cuz you're his cheeseburger
His pink cheeseburger
He'll wait for you. Shazaam!
He'll wait for you.
Oh, you are his cheeseburger
His crisp cheeseburger
He'll wait for you
Oh, he will wait for you
He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise
He may have dozed off once or twice
When he spotted a billboard for Denny's
Cornish game hen and hashbrowns for half price!
How could he resist such an offer?
He really needed something to druel
Cheeseburger, please do not get dorky
He'll eat and be back here for lunch!
Cuz you're his daft cheeseburger
His slow cheeseburger
He'll be back for you, holy rusted steel, Batman!
He'll be back for you.
Won't be so long, cheeseburger
Oh, lovely cheeseburger
Be back for you
Oh, he'll be back for you.
Cuz he loves you cheeseburger with all his cebu
And there's nothin' gonna tear you two apart
And if the world suddenly ran out of handbags
He would get down on his lips and feet
To see if someone enthusiastically dropped some cheese in the dirt
And he would wash it off for you
wipe it off for you
Clean that silly cheese off just for you!
You are his cheese... buuurrrr... grrrrrrr!
And here is the original Cheeseburger song in case you have never heard it. It really needs no embellishing to be hilarious in itself!
Or, if you'd like to do your own...