The Side of Elves I Never Wanted to See

So, David and I were at Pita Pit the other night and just as I was about to bite into my salad I saw a funny look sneak onto his face.

"The elves aren't wearing pants..."

Now, being the mature, composed person I am I spun around only to crack up laughing and make David take a picture to share with all my faithful readers.



=D Deanna

WHAT?!?!

Apparently coffee is good in a crisis...

Is the Grass Greener on That Side?

I keep driving by these sweet sunflowers peeking over the fence. All I had to take a picture with was my phone so I snapped this one. They make me smile and I can't help but wonder what they're looking at.






:) Deanna

News In All Its Forms

There are a few words in the English language that just sound weird when they hit my ears. "Pubescent", no matter what the context, just makes me crinkle my nose when I say it. Perhaps this is why this headline made me take a double take:

"Telescope finds space blobs are pubescent galaxies"

I just had to laugh that they used that adjective to describe a galaxy, but... oh wait... it gets better...

Wednesday, June 24, 2009
WASHINGTON - Mysterious space blobs aren't infant galaxies as astronomers once thought. Scientists say they mostly consist of galaxies going through puberty, all hot and bothered.

Wow! Someone was either having fun with their journalistic liberties or they are raising a young teenager and their homelife snuck into their work... well, maybe both. I doubt any of these kids are reading this article, but aren't they going through enough? I'm sure their older sister's have referred to them as "gaseous blobs" enough... they don't need it cemented in news print.

...One theory was that they were young galaxies cooling off. But the new research says they are hot and chaotic with gas halos, growing supermassive black holes and about to stabilize....

Oh, I remember breaking out in quite a few supermassive black holes...

;) Deanna

On Cinnamon

I remember when I was a little kid one of my favorite treats was cinnamon toast. The bread was Wonderbread white and condensed by the weight of melted butter. On top was a mixture of cinnamon and sugar that was always prepared in a sugar jar by the toaster.

By fluke, as I am writing this, I somehow managed to spell cinnamon right on the first try. The word “cinnamon”, like necassarily “necessarily” and knowlegable knowledgable “knowledgeable”, is one that on a rare occasion I may spell correctly, but never really know for sure unless I run the spell check.

Mostly I use cinnamon in drinks like hot chocolate or protein shakes. My favorite use in the winter is to throw my orange peels with a couple cinnamon sticks, a bit of cloves and allspice into a pot and heat it on low on the stovetop. This adds moisture to the air and makes my apartment smell like wintery treats.


One time a friend of mine added cinnamon to her chocolate chip cookies and everybody complimented her on her ingenuity. I thought it was a good idea to try it, but I just don’t think the cinnamon mixed well with the rest of the flavors.

I’ve never been sure why cinnamon candy is spicy hot. I’ve never had hot, natural cinnamon. I am allergic to cinnamon candy and gum so if I eat it my taste buds swell up and my tongue feels like I burned it with hot pizza. :P Deanna

A Mad Night of Libs

Last night David and I did some Mad Libs. You know those little books we took on road trips when we were little where you fill in random words to end up with a goofy story. Well here are a few from last night (N.B. These have not been censored because they were created in innocence!)

Personal Ad
I enjoy long, slimy walks on the beach, getting snarled in the rain and serendipitous encounters with salad tongs. I really like pina coladas mixed with club soda and romantic, candle-lit puppies. I am well read from Dr. Seuss to Fred Savage. I travel frequently, especially to gas station bathrooms. , when I am not busy with work. (I am a hockey player.) I am looking for Prozac and beauty in the form of an Inuit goddess. She should have the physique of Madonna and the socks of Hilary Clinton. I know I'm not very attractive in my picture, but it was taken 8 days ago, and I have since become more wrinkly.


William Shakespeare - Sonnet 141
In faith, I do not smile thee with mine kidneys,
For they in thee 1 1/2 curling irons note,
But 'tis my toenail that loves what they digest,
Who in despite of view is circled to sing.

Nor are mine nostrils with thy tongue's fiber delighted,
Nor pink feeling, to base continents prone,
Nor taste, nor smell, rap to be burned
To any groovy county fair with thee alone.

But my five dominoes nor my 123 senses can
Dissuade one foolish kneecap from cooking thee,
Who leaves peeled the likeness of a skunk,
Thy proud heart's bus driver and fighter pilot to be:

Only my halitosis thus far I count my gain,
That she that makes me tweak awards me sushi.


His Cheeseburger: A Love Song with Mr. Lunt (VeggieTales)
He said to her, "I'd like a cheeseburger
And I might like cereal as well."
She said to him, "I can't give you either."
And he said, "Isn't this Taco Bell?"
She said, "Yes it is, but we're closed now,
But we open tomorrow at 12."
He said, "I am wholeheartedly hungry,
But I guess I can wait until then."

Cuz you're his cheeseburger
His pink cheeseburger
He'll wait for you. Shazaam!
He'll wait for you.
Oh, you are his cheeseburger
His crisp cheeseburger
He'll wait for you
Oh, he will wait for you

He stayed at the drive-thru till sunrise
He may have dozed off once or twice
When he spotted a billboard for Denny's
Cornish game hen and hashbrowns for half price!
How could he resist such an offer?
He really needed something to druel
Cheeseburger, please do not get dorky
He'll eat and be back here for lunch!

Cuz you're his daft cheeseburger
His slow cheeseburger
He'll be back for you, holy rusted steel, Batman!
He'll be back for you.
Won't be so long, cheeseburger
Oh, lovely cheeseburger
Be back for you
Oh, he'll be back for you.

Cuz he loves you cheeseburger with all his cebu
And there's nothin' gonna tear you two apart
And if the world suddenly ran out of handbags
He would get down on his lips and feet
To see if someone enthusiastically dropped some cheese in the dirt
And he would wash it off for you
wipe it off for you
Clean that silly cheese off just for you!

You are his cheese... buuurrrr... grrrrrrr!

And here is the original Cheeseburger song in case you have never heard it. It really needs no embellishing to be hilarious in itself!

Or, if you'd like to do your own...

~Deanna~

Terribly Terrific Twos

I periodically teach the two and three year old Sunday School class. (By teach I mean keep them from throwing baby dolls at each other and otherwise tearing the church down.) I love this age... especially for a couple hours every week. Don't hold me to that statement when I have a two or three year old of my own. Life is so exciting to a two year old and I never leave the class without a fun story or two... or three.

This morning I was on duty once again. Church starts at nine, so the parents with young children all start filing in at about 9:15.

"Good morning, Karsten!"

"Rrrraaarrrr!"

"Uh oh! Are you a tiger today?" (He was a tiger a few weeks ago.)

"RRRrrrr... a monnnssterrrrrr!"

So, I had the theme of the day. Karsten's imagination usually leads the other kids as they bounce in and find their favorite toy. Soon the girls were running back and forth from the kitchen to him with monster juice, monster chocolate milk and monster fried chicken. Karsten could be on Broadway solely on the expressiveness of his eyebrows and was a very convincing monster. Faith, however, was a little less convincing as she squealed, "I'm scary!" through a wide grin.

I was able to teach them about the angel visiting Mary. This involved a flannel board. I can always keep their attention with a flannel board. Once I asked some teen girls to find some characters for the kids to play with and they apologetically came back with a bag of yarn and random scraps of flannel. Unfazed, I assured them there was no need for an apology as I set the kids up. Twenty minutes later they had created balloons and various Picassoesque creations with the same gusto that they had used sticking the animals by Adam and Eve a couple weeks earlier.

Today we ended with Duck, Duck, Goose. I've worked with some who worry about rules with this game. I quickly assure them that a child young enough to enjoy this favorite doesn't have to have a reason for rules. This group of youngster know somebody picks a goose, but that's about as far as they've gotten so I've figured out a pretty good system. They all sit on randomly scattered carpet squares (I gave up on the sitting in a circle idea pretty early) and I pick who is "it". At two and three being "it" is one of the highest honors you can attain so me choosing keeps them from breaking out into any tribal wars over the decision. All eyes are glued to the chosen one as she taps heads and they wait for the goose to be declared. The kids get so excited at the word "goose", they just can't remember who's supposed to run so they all run every time. I used to try to keep the kids sitting so the goose could chase the "it" around the circle but after a few futile attempts I realized I was just distracting them from their fun. Now, they all jump up, giggle and squeal and run in all different directions until I shout, "Quick! Find a carpet square!" At this, they collapse in a heap on the nearest one and begin to tell me that it is now their turn to be "it".

Wow, the terrible twos. Terribly exciting, enthusiastic, imaginative and, well, pretty chaotic... in a good way... um... for the most part...

==Deanna==

Take a Number

I was sucked into Joann’s tonight. I wanted to grab some fabric for a project I’m working on. After wandering through a plethora polka dots, plaids, and paisley I headed over to the fabric cutter. There was a customer at the counter, so I stood to the side waiting my turn. A lady working on some sort of knitting at the side counter stared at me.

“Did you take a number?” The lady asked as she looked over her glasses with superiority.

I don’t buy fabric often, so I felt like I was breaking some sort of rule.

“Oh! No, I didn’t realize I needed to.” I grabbed a number figuring there must be customers I couldn’t see wandering among the fleeces and flannels. I looked around and saw no one checking out the counter and then I had to keep my laughter in as I noticed the sign above the counter said “33”. I looked back at my ticket and confirmed I was 34. The young worker finished up with the customer and then looked up at the sign.

“Number 34.” She announced to the crowd standing around the counter (by crowd I mean me). I looked around and chuckled to myself as the knitting lady was the only other person within earshot and she was oblivious to us now. I stepped up and handed the girl my number that I had grabbed just minutes before. Whew, it’s a good thing I had some guidance, imagine the chaos I could have caused by disrupting their advanced system.

+Deanna+

A Week in Review

It's been a fairly average week. Things passed quickly and I was just thrilled to sleep in this morning, grab a cup of coffee and snuggle up with my book. Pretty typical... although, the more I thought about it, maybe just typical for me. I suppose a "typical week" is more like a thumbprint in that there are no two exactly alike.

My Week in Review:

High: Getting back together with my little sister (BBBS) after months of lost communication.

Low: About 28 degrees.

Made Me Smile: Presenting David with the first of my "Geek Chic" line, a framed set of Dr. Who quotes, for his new apartment.

Major Questions: Why do Disney movie characters never have mothers and, if they do, they are either evil or get shot by a hunter? What the heck am I going to do for Thanksgiving since it is NEXT WEEK?

Shocking Moment: Definitely when I went down the slide at McDonald's with Raylinn. Every screw my butt hit on the way down sent static electricity shooting through my body as I slid closer to that eerie mural of Ronald McDonald. Really? We have robots doing surgery, but we can't find a way to construct a slide that will not electrocute the children of this country? Although... in some strange masochistic way... is that part of the fun? Maybe this should be under "Major Questions of the Week".

Reminder That I am Quirky: When, after an enthusiastic elocutionary outpouring about my favorite modern convenience, I got a smile and the comment, "Wow, I've never known anyone as passionate about indoor plumbing as you."

Favorite Idea: Adding cinnamon and nutmeg to my vanilla protein shake to make it taste like an eggnog shake. Yum yum, I love eggnog.

Favorite Discovery: Playlist.com (thanks to Katy's blog!). Finally a playlist that has the perfect combination of country, gospel, Disney soundtrack, 80's rock, top 40, praise, and 60's folk rock!

Peaceful Moment: My lunchtime walk in the state park when the sun was shining and the scene was just filled with all the exciting things you notice when you are a kid.

I hope you had a "typical week" too!

:) Deanna

Randomness and My Green Tambourine

O Danny Boy
I heard the song O Danny Boy twice today in different settings. I always love hearing this song. This strikes me as odd because it is really depressing.



Presumptious
I love the word "presumptious". It just sounds really cool when you use it in a sentence especially in the form of irony. Here is a sentence I used in an email the other day that was just meant to have "presumptious" in it:

"Last winter my drink of choice was a 16 oz., 2%, double split shot, sugar free vanilla latte. I wanted them to make it upside down, but I thought that might make me sound presumptious."

I have actually said it since then and I do like saying it just as much as writing it. A word I really like using but struggle with saying is "circuitous".

Free to be... You and Me
I was reading a book today and the author mentioned the album, Free to be... You and Me. Wow, I happily shot back in time to the hours I spent listening to the record as a kid. The author said she left it playing in her car once when she went out to dinner. When the valet returned her car he was so excited because he hadn't heard the album in years. I didn't realize so many people shared the memory of this album with me.



Cutting my lip on my sandwhich
On Saturday I went out to eat at Downriver Grill. I was having a brie and chicken sandwich with apple and crandberry on it and the bun was grilled to a beautiful, but sharp, golden brown. I say sharp because at one point I went to take a bite and it scratched my lip. A little while later David told me I still had cranberry sauce on my lip. When I checked, it was actually blood from the cut I got from my sandwich. I got a cut from bread. Suddenly, knowing that my sandwich can cut through my skin, the Ginsu knives cutting through a shoe doesn't seem all that impressive.

<>Deanna<>

Leaning Tower of Propaganda

Well, I've had some very faithful penpals lately. Kevin and Don have been sending me notes almost daily and calling me. Oh, and so has Dino, John, Chris...

Something tells me these relationships will soon be over. I see them everywhere. They tell me how much they care and how much I mean to them, but once I tell them where I stand it's done. They don't call... they don't write.

The pile of letters from the last couple weeks were stacked in my recycle bin. I grabbed them to see if I was exaggerating the level of correspondance in my head. I really wasn't. The level turned out to be 6. Well, 6 stories I guess...

Here's a little monument to all those campaigning for my vote. I like to call it the Leaning Tower of Propaganda.

_Deanna_

On Weddings and Personal Hygiene

Well, last Saturday I went to a wedding reception. The bride and groom slide show was going in the church and everybody was "aahhh"ing at the loving couple gliding onto the screen. I happened to have the groom's four year old daughter sitting next to me in the pew. I set my arm on the pew behind her head to keep it from falling asleep. At this point she was eye level with my armpit... which is always a precarious place for a four year old girl who says whatever comes to her mind. She looked up, and because I had a capped sleeve she was privy to what was under my arm.

"Why do you have pokeys coming out?", she asked as she pointed to my armpit.

I glanced down wondering how I had managed to get something on my shirt so early in the day. I was confused for a second until I looked past my shirt to the skin under my arm. It had been a bit cooler lately, so in the absence of tank tops I hadn't bothered to shave my armpits for a few days. I chuckled to myself thinking about how kids say the darndest things.

"Well, I shaved the hair there and now it's starting to grow back."

Now at this point we'd kept the conversation within earshot of only a couple of people, so when she asked why I shaved my armpits I explained that usually people do when they're grown up. Not picking up on my subtle, low voiced cues she decided to tell me a little about her family... quite loudly.

"Oh! My dad shaves his armpits!"

The only thing that could've been louder at that moment was the snorts coming from the surrounding adults unsuccessfully muffling the jocularity. A glance over at her father, the groom, all the way across the center aisle confirmed the strong vocal ability of his daughter. Turning away from his raised eyebrows, I hushed the little princess to a whisper.

"We need to talk quietly while the pictures are being shown."

And of course the explanation comes in a quiet whisper.

"I've seen him shave. He takes a can and sprays it on the hair in his armpit, pulls it back out", and with a sweeping motion of her hand to the top of the imaginary can, "and puts the lid back on!".

Bless her heart.

~Deanna~

Octopi and Marty McFly

Well, here I am referring to NPR again. I just have to share a couple new stories I have learned this week. The first may be semantically alarming, much like the Pluto crisis of '07. I have heard from a reliable source that the word "octopi" is really not the plural of octopus. In an interview, the scientist who works with the octopuses, who I am not going to cite as I don't remember her name nor care to take the time looking it up, did confirm that "octopuses" is the correct term for more than one octopus. Another interesting factoid is that, with the learning capacity near the average dog, the octopus is one of the most intelligent, if not the most intelligent, invertebrates. I'm pretty sure "invertebrates" is the correct plural on that one...

Now, on to footwear. It appears that there is quite a movement to have the Air McFly created for the masses. For those of you who didn't grow up quoting "Hello McFly!" and "Great Scott!", these are the shoes Michael J. Fox's character wears when he is transported to 2015, in the movie Back to the Future III. There is controversy that a version that has been released doesn't look close enough to Marty's. However, my biggest question is if they will have that little button on them that sucks them in and fits them perfectly to your feet. His jacket not only did that, but had a ventilation system that dried it instantly. Get me those and a hoverboard and I'll be ready to take on the year 2015!


Speaking of shoes, I must share with you all my favorite new music video. For the last few months I have been in love with Brad Paisley's song, Waitin' on a Woman. Imagine my excitement when he just released it as his new single. Now imagine even more excitement when I found out Andy Griffith temporarily came out of retirement to be in the music video! Brad Paisley has done it again. Chalk up one more "best music video" to him.

D

Randomness and Legos

A Blog Post in Which General
Thoughts that Come to Deanna
That Are Not Sufficient

for a Full Post Get Wrapped Up Into

One Big Bundle of Joy

I watched the movie, Be Kind, Rewind tonight. It is stinkin' hilarious. Not only that, but in its own quirky way it is very endearing. Some big names in it are Jack Black, Mia Farrow and Danny Glover. The basic plot is two friends recreating all the movies in a video store to replace the ones Black's character destroyed. To the left they are doing a 20 minute rendition of Ghost Busters. Other movies they have to make are Robocop, Driving Miss Daisy, and even the animated classic, The Lion King.

Recently I've been thinking about some famous song lyrics that just make me want to raise one eyebrow. There is a Tim and Faith song that says, "I need you like a needle needs a vein". Not exactly the most heartwarming, maybe heart draining, metaphor for love. I also think the imagery Fergie uses is odd when she says, "and I'm gonna miss you like a child misses its blanket". Tonight, however, Bobby Bare took the gold as I turned on the radio and heard, "Dropkick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life".

I also wanted to inform all my astute readers that the championship has been won! The World's Ugliest Dog Contest has crowned Gus their King. Gus is a one-eyed, three-legged Chinese Crested who also has skin cancer. He has overcome a lot of odds... well, maybe for him they aren't so bad; "Big buckets of drool get extra points," radio station KZST emcee Brent Farris said in the story. "So do missing limbs."

Oh, how I would love to continue telling you all about the things I store in my brain's "random drawer" (it's kind of like that kitchen drawer that you throw things in because you just don't know where else to put them). However, I'm totally tired so I'm signing out.

D